


The Forest of Desire

by xydo_odyx



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Multi, crimson flower felix, felix's really bad not so fun trip, gilbert learns about roommates, sylvain lives in a matriarchy now
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-21
Updated: 2019-09-21
Packaged: 2020-10-25 03:01:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20716997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xydo_odyx/pseuds/xydo_odyx
Summary: Felix, in search of a strong opponent, wanders into a mysterious forest where it is said all who have entered have never returned.





	The Forest of Desire

Felix slowly opened his eyes and as he grew aware of his surroundings, he pushed himself out of bed quickly. He didn’t recall falling asleep. He was searching for that rumored terrifying opponent in a misty forest.

He recognized the deep blue color of the walls from his childhood. He and that boar played in the same room as their fathers had tea. He was in the Royal Palace in Fhirdiad despite his last conscious memory of wandering around Goneril territory. He remembered the palace burning as he fought with Edelgard and her forces against Rhea’s last stand.

It was strange to be aware that this was a dream. Most of his dreams were forgotten as he woke up with only a bitter dryness left on his tongue. He pinched himself yet he did not wake.It must be some spell.

A mage must be the terrifying opponent the rumors spoke of.

He found his sword next to a Lance of Zoltan. For a moment, he paused to admire the two weapons. Despite their different forms, the weapons shared a dark, sleek form iconic to Zoltan’s craftsmanship. He dismissed a realization from his mind quickly before it could fully take shape.

He threw on his coat and trousers, noting the softness and warmth of them. It was a long time since he had to wear clothes of Galatea wool.It was strange. The mage seemed to have created an illusory world where his opponent wouldn’t be shivering from Faerghus cold.He wasn’t wearing his lightweight clothes and armor from either.

His hair was undone and he swept it up with a hair tie from the floor of all places. He was ready enough just in time as he heard a knock on the door.

He had one hand on his sword, ready to assault the mage, when he opened the door to see Ashe.

_“I tried... to do the right thing, Lonato…”_

Ashe was alive despite perishing in Fhirdiad. Felix knew this because he himself killed him. He could never forget the blood that ran down the cobblestones, dripped from his blade. He would hear his last words among others in his dreams. Felix would never tell Ashe about how Glenn would read that knight’s story to him; he joined the Black Eagles soon after and firmly placed the Lions in his past.

“Felix, you look like you saw a ghost! Don’t tell me… are there actually ghosts here?” His tone was friendly, completely ignorant of what Felix had done to him.

“Why are you here?” He could barely hide the anger in his voice. The mage had made this personal.

“Huh? Are you feeling alright, Felix? His Highness asked me to prepare the feasts for the Summit and lead some seminars on running cross-cultural businesses for the delegates.”

“His Highness?” Dimitri was alive here.

“Yes. He actually asked me to come wake you up. Seems like you two had a late night.” Ashe colored red and shook his hands in a pacifying gesture.“Preparing for the summit!”

“Whatever. I’m going to see him then.”

He didn’t draw his blade on Ashe even though the man was unarmed and unguarded. He told himself that it was a waste of time to do so. Ashe was just an illusion. His hand gripped the hilt of his sword.

_Our pride, our people, our king. You've torn them all apart. Haven't you had enough?! What else is there for you to take?!_

His back itched with the knowledge of an opponent in his blind spot. His heart pushed him forward, deeper into the palace.

He could feel the pulse of magic to the north. The source of the illusion must be there.

* * *

Mercedes had apologized when Felix had ran into her, dazed by the realness of the illusion. She had apologized to the Professor as they faced off. She had apologized to Dimitri when she was killed by the professor.

He must have shown some fatigue or something. Mercedes, ever hawk-like in her care, noticed.

“Felix, have you been sleeping well? Has his Highness been keeping you up? You look a little stressed.”

Annette blushed and hushed Mercedes. “Mercie! We don’t need to know what Felix and his Highness do at night time!”

Felix did not know how to respond, so he chose silence. He remembered how Mercedes would leave a pot of tea at his door every night when he would return from training. She stopped after he told her that he wasn’t her brother.

His lack of response was a confirmation unfortunately and Annette turned even redder; she waved her hands to try to clear some air. “You should seriously just talk to his Highness and tell him to stop doing that stuff so late.”

He raised an eyebrow. “That stuff?” She was still the same girl who sang in the greenhouse.

“Oh, you are the worst!”

Mercedes, ever so saintly, came to the rescue of her friend. “You should still talk to his Highness. He’ll fret over you if you don’t properly communicate about your needs and limits.” The sincerity of her words was ruined by a concluding giggle.

“I’m leaving.” He didn’t want to deal with a lecture about his illusory sex life by two illusions of his former classmates. To his surprise, Annette and Mercedes both gave him a quick hug in farewell.

He hadn’t felt the touch of others in such a long time. Thankfully, the two women were distracted from Felix’s emotional turmoil by the arrival of another corpse.

“Ah, Annette.” Gilbert called out. He was walking towards them, unencumbered by heavy armor and looking younger despite the years that passed.

Annette had begged for her father, and then for Mercedes, when she died in the flames. Felix did not understand why she had begged for a man who had abandoned her in life and in death. He thought of Rodrigue and grounded himself in the sourness of those memories as he walked away.

“Hello, Lady von Martritz. I hope you are doing well. Are you and Annette still roommates?”

Felix heard their happy laughter; he was glad he escaped. He shouldn’t have been caught up in these false emotions in this fake world.

_“I’m sorry, Professor. I can't join you... There are important things I must stay and protect.”_

Mercedes really did want to protect Annette. She was a good person, and Felix and the Empire spit on her death by killing Annette.

* * *

Felix took a less-frequented route to the throne room, hoping to avoid the others; however, this llusion was cruel.

“Felix!” Ingrid pulled him over when he was trying to skulk past them. He remembers walking to her corpse to bury it. Her neck was broken at an unusual angle;she fell from her mount when Bernadetta shot her down. She called him a traitor then.

_You've betrayed His Majesty, Glenn, and Lord Rodrigue. You've betrayed just about everyone!_

She was right.

Sylvain was swamped by three children. One in his arms; another on his back; the last clinging onto his legs. They were all red heads. He looked like the very definition of a kept man. Ingrid, on the other hand, looked as noble and knightly as before.

“Hey! Help me, Felix! I’m dying here.” The man complained.

Ingrid rolled her eyes. “He’s just being dramatic.”

“Whoa, there. We made a promise, a ‘bro-mise’, Felix and I.” Felix literally did not want to be in this conversation anymore. But Sylvain kept on talking. “I’m taking him with me as we promised. He can even choose his cause of death: Glenn’s pointy objects, Mika’s pyromania, or Thea’s lungs.”

_“Sorry, Sylvain. You’ll die first.” _

“…” He couldn’t reply. He tried to think of a graceful exit to the conversation but the only solution was jumping out of the window and running away. Thankfully, any need for any response evaporated with who he thought was Glenn attempting to poke his leg with a knife.

Ingrid leapt to his rescue. “Glenn, where did you even get that?” She snatched the knife out of the three year old’s hand. “Honestly… how do you even find these?”

“I want to fight Fee!” The toddler announced proudly. Did he sound like that every time he wanted to fight his brother? He would make sure the mage would die a painful death for making him go through this.

“What the fuck?” He responded instead.

Sylvain, the traitor, laughed at him. “I’ve been telling Glenn that you’re the second best swordsman in all of Fodlan, so now he wants to fight you for your title.”

The girl (Mika?) on Sylvain’s back piped up. “And Mom is number one!”

Ingrid laughed and peeled Mika off Sylvain’s back for bit. It seemed like a little flattery worked.

He couldn’t stand to be here in this happiness. Felix was an aberration in this world; he had destroyed this future. To be treated like he still belonged as a friend…

The baby in Sylvain’s arms was trying to say something though. All five of them, adults and children alike, were quiet for this important, crucial moment.

“Fuck.”

Ingrid, eyes aflame, was silent for only a second before stating solemnly, “Felix, I’m going to kill you.”

“You better run, buddy. That was her first word.”

Felix did not run. He chose a better option. He jumped out of the window.

* * *

“Greetings. His Highness is waiting for you.”

Dedue, human once again, was there at the door of the throne room and stood obvious to the pulse of strange magic behind him. Felix did not know how to feel towards the man who transformed himself and others into demonic beasts to protect Dimitri. Disgust? Envy? Time had distilled all strong emotions away.

“You certainly look happy today.”

“After all these years, his Highness and I have finally achieved our dreams of reconciliation between Faerghus and Duscur. My people have rebuilt our homes and found friends in Fodlan and outwards.”

“I’m glad.” Felix responded - genuinely to his surprise.

Someone called out to Dedue. It was a young woman from Duscur; the servants, nobles, and peasants waiting around for the start of the public hour carried on as if they had left behind any enmity years ago. She said some words in a strange, clicking language - Felix realized that he had never heard Duscur’s native language before.

Dedue turned to him. “I apologize for this, but Ashe has requested my presence in the kitchens. Please take care of his Highness.” He patted him on the shoulder and left.

Watching Dedue walk away, Felix understood the past better.

* * *

Felix and the professor had whittled him down, dodging his mighty and vicious attacks and peppering him with fire and lightning. Edelgard had given the final blow to the Boar King. He would never admit it to anyone (not that he had anyone to tell these sort of things to), but Felix was grateful that he wasn’t the one to do so.

Dimitri was facing towards the window when Felix arrived. Dimitri’s hair was clean and tied up; his clothes were fitting of the king. He remembered the Boar King as wild and stained even when responsible for an entire kingdom.

The sight pulled at him. He commanded his feet to move closer and closer.Even in this illusion,the Boar made Felix chase after him.

He would have to kill the Boar to escape this illusion. He was resolved enough to do so until Dimitri turned and smiled at him.

He had long believed that look belonged to another lifetime. He stumbled, blood rushing to his cheeks at such a clumsy action. The King had met him halfway, steadying his friend with his hands.

“Felix, is there something on my face? You have to tell me - I have to meet with the Brigid delegation soon.” Felix wanted to kill him right then and there. He was still so stupid.

“No. Your face is still as horrible as always.” He turned his face away, blood burning his cheeks. Why did Dimitri always do this to him? “And I never want to see it again.”

“Is that so?” Dimitri sounded like he was holding a laugh. A hand brushed Felix’s cheek and lifted his head up. Dimitri was smiling so brightly that Felix felt like he was going blind.

Dimitri only had one eye strangely, but even with that, Felix felt like he was drowning in the sky. He could just stand here with the Boar’s right hand on his chin and left hand on his ribs.

“Don’t be smug, boar prince.” Felix snapped. This illusion wouldn’t best him.

Dimitri looked too happy. He removed his hands and Felix felt unmoored once again, but steadied himself before it was noticed.

“Before we meet with the Brigid delegation, I wanted to tell you something.” Dimitri’s voice was serious, but it carried less of the weight as it had previously. Almost as if his burdens were lightened or redistributed amongst others.

“Tell me what?” Felix did not fear easily, but he felt a rising terror at the words. He didn’t want to hear it.

_I killed you. I helped kill you. I burnt you with lightning and when you held your blade against me and hesitated for just a moment, Edelgard chopped off your head. _

“I am so thankful for you.Even back then, when I committed countless atrocities in the name of the dead, you have always opened my eyes. I truly am grateful for your support and presence as we head towards a brighter, peaceful Fodlan.” The Boar Prince had said this with the nobility of a fairytale prince,so fantastical, so unreal. The words were all so sincere, but each syllable pierced like arrows.

“Don’t say it like that…” His voice was a croak; the words were dry and brittle.

“I supposed I must be more direct then.” Wrong. Wrong! Dimitri was too close. Felix’s right hand gripped his sword’s hilt; the gesture was unnoticed by the too-trusting king.

They looked at each other’s faces. The empty room was silent with expectation.

Felix allowed Dimitri to speak, hating himself for wanting to hear the words.

“I love you. I want you to be forever by my side.” Dimitri said softly.

Some desperate emotion in Felix’s face must have shown for Dimitri leaned down and kissed him.

He had to. He forced his hand to pull the sword out of its scabbard; he instructed his arm to tilt the blade upwards and push into Dimitri’s chest; he ordered his body to stand there as his weapon sunk into the unguarded chest of his king.

He felt Dimitri’s blood run down his blade, his hands, as Dimitri gasped and shuddered. His eye was wide with confusion and pain. His warm hands clutched softly at Felix desperately (and kindly despite his situation).

“Why? Did I fail you so, Felix?”

He stared into Dimitri’s single eye, paralyzed by its deep blue. This close to Dimitri, Felix could see himself reflected in it. He was even more aware of what he was now.

Countless words crawled up his throat, but Felix could not speak. He just stood there with his sword in Dimitri’s stomach. The world twisted and faded around them, but Felix could only feel Dimitri’s fading heartbeat.

“Spectacular! You truly are the strongest.” A young girl’s voice greeted him as Felix woke up. He swung himself into a fighting stance at the words, but there was no one there in the meadow.

Dimitri… Dimitri had… he would have returned if Felix was…

Victory was never sweet to him. It came with a cool satisfaction, a certain pride in defeating yet again another foe. A long time ago, before he joined the professor and the Empire., it came with a certain pride that he could protect his friends.

But this feeling was saccharine. His teeth ached and he realized he was grinding them. He had to breathe.

He gripped the hilt of his sword tightly, trying to calm himself with the feeling of well-worn, reliable leather and mythril, but he felt even more askew than before.

The forest was too loud and bright. He missed the silence and the fog.

It was overwhelming to have all that support and love, he reminded himself. He was better off alone.

**Author's Note:**

> Ending B - an endless dream
> 
> “I love you. I want you to be forever by my side.” Dimitri said softly.
> 
> Some desperate emotion in Felix’s face must have shown for Dimitri leaned down and kissed him.
> 
> He had to. He let his hand fall from his sword. He kissed back, desperate and wanting. 
> 
> -
> 
> "I did not consider you human for a very long time. I know now that you are. I only wish you had viewed your sword as something more than a tool of death." 
> 
> Flayn walked away. Behind her, Felix's body was still.


End file.
